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Sunday, 20 November 2011

The Blue Skittle


This is a Blue Skittle. It is new.

The prior absence of a blue coloured skittle ranks alongside the Loch Ness Monster and the assassination of JFK as one of the biggest unsolved mysteries ever.

It all started with Skittles' outrageous claim that by eating them, you can "Taste the Rainbow".

Even if humans did have the ability to taste colours, a bag of Skittles does not contain a sweet for every colour of the rainbow (red, yellow, orange, green, blue, indigo, purple). And it wasn't long before people started asking questions:


No one could dispute Dreagon R's faultless logic, but parent company Wrigleys remained tight-lipped.
It didn't matter, the cat was out of the bag, and thanks to Dreagon R, our eyes had been opened. Here. someone called Logan hears the shocking non-Blue Skittle news for the first time. (coincidentally his response exactly echoes my own):


He wasn't the only one to be upset.

Of course, as with any controversy, some forthright views quickly came out of the woodwork:

Experts like "Angelina Petrafina" scrabbled desperately for an answer, but sadly collapsed into pure nonsense.

There were glimpses of hope. Here, "Richard", in a find akin to that of the 1987 Yeti sighting happened upon what could well have been the first ever Blue Skittle:


Sadly, it turned out to be worth just 0.02 pence, only marginally more than any other single unbagged Skittle. But that didn't stop "Richard" mysteriously NEVER POSTING ON THE SUBJECT OF BLUE SKITTLES AGAIN. Co-incidence?

Then, in 2010, a mysterious poster calling himself "Hi" tried to pacify the masses, claiming he had some answers. Unfortunately those answers made no sense at all and left everybody still firmly in the dark.


Disinformation? A Wrigley's plant trying to pacify the ever-growing mob? No one knew. What we do know is that this:


was definitely Wrigleys trying to shut people up.

But, finally, this year Wrigleys relented, releasing the Blue Skittle (cherry-cola flavoured) in limited edition packs, the company claiming it was due to an “intense customer calling to reunite the rainbow”.

BUT WHY HAS THE BLUE SKITTLE BEEN ABSENT ALL THESE YEARS?!?
Here is the reason:


THE BLUE SKITTLE WAS TOO SAD TO JOIN.

Hope that clears everything up. Now, about that indigo Skittle...

4 comments:

  1. I wonder if it's anything to do with the blue smarties that disappeared for a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sweetest Potato, It was because it was made with artificial stuff but smarties have fixed it. :D I THROW MY SKITTLES IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING AAYOO TASTE THE RAIINBOW

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  2. Haha hilarious! What flavour was it?

    ReplyDelete