Listen - putting Cadbury chocolate into Philadelphia Cheese is a GOOD idea, so stop thinking it isn't.
There's a Depression on you know. Some people can't afford to buy both chocolate and cheese anymore. This is a vital life line. Stop being so selfish.
Just ask Brian O'Sullivan, managing director of Kraft Food Ireland:
"We are really proud to announce the launch of Philadelphia with Cadbury,” said Brian O’Sullivan, managing director, Kraft Foods Ireland. “It represents a bold cross-category innovation which brings together two iconic brands to create a new sub-category in the chilled aisle and a great tasting product for Philly and Cadbury lovers everywhere.”
Thanks Brian - but just but slapping together two random things in a pot doesn't get you a brand new "sub-catergory" - if it was that easy I could just put a sausage in a yoghurt and demand that Sainsbury's create an entire new aisle for it immediately.
It does sound like Kraft have done some canny market research here though - apparently around 99.9% of all people who like cheese also like chocolate, so the most logical thing is to do is stuff them together into one pot as quickly as possible. I'm actually surprised it took them this long to think if it. I mean, we all enjoyed Philadelphia with Garlic and Herb. We all enjoyed Philadelphia with Chives. So this is just a natural progression.
Luckily parent company Kraft make both Philadelphia and Cadburys, so i assume they just redirect a pipe somewhere.
In truth, it's a sign of the times that there are few completely new products around. In an unpredictable market, it's far less risky to bolt-on a existing brand name to a well known product than release something unknown.
In the future, there will be no new ideas at all, and instead all ideas will merely be amalgamations of pre-existing concepts - like potatoes and bricks, or a kitten and a door-stop.
Cadbury Philadelphia is merely the beginning, my friends, of a long slippery slope that will lead into the endless recycling and combining of everything until all things are one homogeneous mass. A bit like a massive McFlurry.
But it is a very tasty slope so don't worry too much.
Ultimately there are few products that aren't improved by adding chocolate. And while I can't see myself putting it in a smoked salmon bagel, "Philly Choc" would make a lovely alternative to chocolate spread on a bit of toast, as a dip for a Twix finger, or, my preferred method, just spooned directly into my mouth.
Philadelphia Cadbury, £1.62
Gobble Monkey says: 6 out of 7