It's here! YES! Tango Chocolate!*
What do you mean you don't want any?
I don't know why Tango Chocolate* has taken this long, to be honest. The logic is simple: Everyone likes Tango, so why not just put Tango in everything?
Tango Chocolate* is only the beginning. In the future, I would like ALL food that I eat to be infused with Tango. Tango cereal for breakfast, Tango sandwiches for lunch and Tango chips and Tango ice cream for tea. What about warm Tango soup? Or Tango cheese. All washed down with an ice-cold glass of sweet, sweet Tango.
The Tango possibilities are endless. (If you don't like Tango, don't worry, you will soon get used to it. You won't have a choice.)
OK LET'S EAT THE TANGO CHOCOLATE*
So the USP of the Tango "Demolition" Balls/Bar* is they contain bits of popping candy. ("Tang Your Taste Buds" the slogan says, meaninglessly.)
The "Demolition Bar" is one of the most disgusting things I've ever eaten. It's a bit like a soft Aero with an incredibly sweet, sickly orange aftertaste that clogs in the throat - Terry's Chocolate Orange this ain't. And the popping candy just got on my nerves.
The "Demolition Balls" fare slightly better, if only because they deliver their sickly orange punch in a smaller dose. They're a bit like Orange Revels, but with the addition of that irritating popping candy again. Consider my taste buds "tanged".
Still, it's too late to stop the Tango Revolution now, so we may as well just get on with it.
Tango Demolition Bar, 50p
Gobble Monkey says: zero of of seven
Tango Demolition Balls, 55p
Gobble Monkey says: 2 out of seven
*Contains no actual Tango.