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Thursday, 9 August 2012

Angel Delight Ice Cream

I love Angel Delight - even to the point where sometimes I can't even be bothered to whisk it properly and just drink it like a sweet soup.

Don't judge me! It's the perfect dessert (apart from the whisking) - you don't have to chew it and it comes in butterscotch flavour. (Second only to cinnamon in the flavour roster, and as yet there is NO cinnamon flavour Angel Delight). And it's hard to combine two more attractive words in the English language than Angel and Delight. Look:

Angel (n):A typically benevolent celestial being that acts as an intermediary between heaven and earth

Delight (n): Something that gives great pleasure or enjoyment.

So basically that's like a magic winged ghost giving you a very enjoyable pudding in heaven. And it's a fair bet that God himself eats Angel Delight on a regular basis. (BET HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THE WHISKING THOUGH).

Whereas this:


sounds like the sort of pudding a nazi would serve.

Anyway, someone at Angel Delight HQ noticed what a blazing summer we're having and decided now was the time to bring out Angel Delight ICE CREAM.


Yeah you read that right - Angel Delight Ice Cream.

Sadly you have to make it yourself (more whisking), but it promises to be worth it. Look:



Now, Angel Delight is exciting - that's a given  - but FROZEN Angel Delight? That's TAKING EXCITEMENT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL What level of excitement are we on now? I'm glad you asked, it's Level 2.

Now - there's an extra twist involved in Angel Delight Ice Cream Mix. Check it:


Make it your own! Try adding peanut butter! NO THANKS. Don't try and tell me there's peanut butter in heaven. There isn't.

BUT this means anyone can finally better the b*@%*ds at Ben and Jerry's. If you've had enough of putting up with 'Phish Food' or 'Karamel Sutra' or any of their other hilariously named flavours - now is your time. The power is back in our hands people!  So if you really want to make some fresh fruit and peanut butter* ice cream, now you can. And let me let you into a little secret about Ben and Jerry's - there is no "Jerry"! That's right, there's a Ben, but he completely made up "Jerry" after a focus group said he's sell more ice-cream if people thought he had a friend. Think about it - no one is called Jerry in real life. There's that mouse and Jerry Seinfeld but that's it. Ben makes it all himself on a lonely farm.

Anyway, now we can make our own stupid flavours up! So here's how you make Angel Delight Ice Cream:

1) Add milk and whisk. At this point we are still on excitement level 2. (don't worry, I tasted the 'raw' mixture at this stage - 5 out of 7)


2) Pop in the 'extra' ingredients and pour into in Tupperware (excitement level 3)


3) Put a lid on it, freeze & WAIT FOR A MINIMUM OF FOUR HOURS (expect excitement levels to drop to a 1.5 during this period).

4) Wait three hours and get bored so take it out and eat it.



EXCITEMENT LEVEL SEVEN!

I added a King Size Twix and some Oreos to make TWIX AND OREO ICE CREAM which is better than any flavour Ben and "Jerry"'s ever came up with ever. And if they did, they'd probably call it 'Cookie Karamel Crumble' or 'The Ice-Cream-inator' or 'Cherry Garcia' or something and charge you £4.99 for the privilege.

Angel Delight Ice Cream sort of works. It doesn't go icy like frozen milk, but it's not exactly light and creamy either - it's pretty dense and a little too sweet. Ultimately, good old fashioned Angel Delight is still the best.

Gobble Monkey Twix and Oreo ice cream, £1.79
Gobble Monkey says: 7 out of 7

*Don't

Monday, 6 August 2012

Vice Versas

Remember these from the 90s?


They were a bit like Minstrels - but with a twist!

Can you guess what the twist was?


That's right, the ones with milk chocolate shells have white chocolate inside and the others were well, vice vera.

Imagine! White chocolate living side-by-side in harmony with milk chocolate!

But there was a problem. Yeah you thought the Nineties was all about free love, New Labour and Shed Seven BUT the men and women of the 90s rejected Vice Versas. They couldn't stand to see white and milk chocolate together in the same packet. So no one bought them and Nestle had to stop production. Now, I'm not saying the 90s humans were massive racists, but meanwhile sales of Milky Bars were soaring. YOU DO THE MATH.

But could us "future-humans" manage to be more tolerant of a society where white / milk chocolate are treated equally?

Because I have a dream. I have a dream that my chocolates will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their shells but by the tastiness of their character...

WHAT I SAW IN MY DREAM
Well now Vice Versas have been re-released into a more open-minded world. I think John Terry is even doing the TV advert (Shrewd move Nestle!) and fingers crossed, they'll be embraced.*

Vice Versas, Nestle, £1.59
Gobble Monkey says: I LIKE BOTH WHITE SHELLED AND MILK SHELLED ONES EQUALLY I AM NOT A RACIST.

*If only to stop me having that bloody dream. Honestly, it's really getting on my nerves. Two half eaten chocolates sitting in a field. What sort of a dream is that? It's boring.